One Crazy Night
by Reya McConspiring
Summary: Hey, it's Halloween! My collection of Halloween fanfictions. One-shots.


I finished this WAY after Halloween was done. xD But I started it way BEFORE Halloween started. xD I'm so lazy. I do not own South Park or any of its characters, or the settings. Just the imagination. C:

* * *

A queen in a tattered black dress walked with her bloody husband...to school.

"This Halloween will be awesome!" exclaimed the undead king, throwing an arm around his wife's shoulders.

"And the party we're in charged of is the best!" agreed the wicked wife. On her head was a crown, which appeared to have a cobweb on it.

A plastic spider was sitting beside the crown on the king's head. "It'll be marked down in Halloween party history." He tugged on his ripped cape.

"You got that right, my dear King Stanley," giggled the queen, brushing off her long black dress. It trailed an inch or so behind her.

"Yes, yes," said the mighty king, "Most Wicked Queen Wendy, we are assured the world's most evil world domination."

"Splendid. With our immense supply of candy, destruction of this planet will be certain. Guaranteed!"

"Or our money back." Stan grinned.

Wendy giggled. They walked into their classroom.

The parents of the children, stubborn of the idea of finding a new school, had an idea: to build a building next to South Park Elementary, and merge it with SPE to form a private school. The principal agreed. It turned into a private school, and became more, location-wise, convenient. Therefore, content parents.

"Boo!" A vampire jumped out in front of the couple.

"Eek! Clyde!" Wendy said.

Clyde grinned. "Just wait till I have my fangs on! See you, Stan. Wends." He ran out of the classroom.

"Bye, Clyde," they replied in unison, and went to sit in their seats, only to find out Kenny was already lounging in Stan's desk.

"Kenny, hey," greeted Stan. "You do know you're in my seat, right?"

Kenny nodded. "Yep." He had the hood of his parka around his shoulders, exposing his face and hair.

"And what are you supposed to be?" Wendy asked.

"Well, Queen Huge Frickin' Hooters-" Kenny smiled "-I am, temporarily, Gorgeousness. Can't you see?" He gestured at his face.

"Yeah, I can totally see," Wendy replied sarcastically, though admitting to herself that Kenny was handsome. _Not as handsome as Stan, though._

They heard footsteps approach. They looked at the door.

Bebe and Kyle appeared through the door in the same instant.

"Hey! Small Fry! Kyle!" Kenny flashed a grin in their direction.

Bebe rolled her eyes as they approached Kenny, Wendy, and Stan. "Try as you may, Kenny, but your words will never affect me."

"That's the spirit! Or not. Nice costume," complimented Wendy, "Makes for a good pun."

Bebe wore a sleeveless glittery white dress, though there was a bloody-looking 'hole' where her heart should've been. She smiled. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry." Kenny made a sarcastic apologetic face, and stood up. "But you're shortness..." He laughed and looked at the girl three inches shorter than him, flicked her forehead, and left the room.

"Don't you mess with the undead, jerk!" Bebe yelled after him, her hand flying to where he flicked her.

"Good morning, Grim Reaper," Wendy said to Kyle. "Who's the unlucky prey today?"

"Good morning, Queen Wicked," Kyle replied, smiling, "It's you!"

"Eek!" Wendy said, laughing and running behind her boyfriend. They all started laughing.

"I'm back!" said a voice.

Kenny approached the group, wearing a cowboy hat. He swung his parka over his shoulder. He was wearing a cowboy vest over a white t-shirt. Realistic-looking cuts and wounds ran up and down his arms, and another cut on his face was shaped like an 'X'. "Cartman got my costume.

"Hey," he said, thumping a fist on the small of Kyle's back, "Death! Nice to see you again. Sorry, your car keys are still at my house, I'll have 'em back to you the next time I see you."

They all laughed. Kyle poked Kenny playfully in the side with his plastic scythe.

"So how did the party-planning go?" questioned Kyle, turning to Wendy and Stan.

"Terrific," answered Wendy.

"It's dark and spooky, and we got these weird foods," added Stan.

"I'm scared that weird doesn't necessarily mean good." Bebe grimaced.

"Frog eyes, witch nails, and cough syrup. The very best of the best."

"Cough syrup?!" Kyle echoed in disbelief.

Wendy and Stan let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine," Wendy groaned.

"It's actually blood," Stan admitted.

"Much more believable," Bebe said, though still suspicious.

"We killed Kenny and drained him of half his blood," said Wendy with a straight face.

"No wonder I look pale!" gasped Kenny.

"Wait, WHAT?!" Bebe exclaimed. Kenny grinned.

"Okay, it's actually punch, but we made it thicker," Wendy said.

"Can't you bastards stick to non-believable blood?" Bebe grimaced.

Wendy and Stan shook their heads slowly and in sync.

"Creepy," Kenny admitted, sticking out his tongue. "Where's Cartman? I want to complete the group." He turned to Bebe and Wendy. "Plus two." They scowled at him.

Suddenly Kenny's hands were locked behind his body.

"You're under arrest for being poor," Cartman said.

"Cartman, you dickhead! Let go!" Kenny tried to get free.

"You're even more under arrest for trying to refuse."

"Shut up! You know nothing about crime _or_ cops!"

"You have the right to remain silent."

Kenny finally wriggled free. He turned around and punched Cartman.

"Ow!" Cartman stumbled backwards. "Kenneh, don't be such a bitch!"

Kenny huffed and turned back to the staring group.

Wendy clapped. "Go, cowboy!"

Kenny bowed.

"Huge Frickin' Hooters," greeted Cartman.

"Cartman," groaned Wendy.

"I heard Heidi wanted to be Barbeh this Halloween," Cartman told her. Wendy's eyes lit up.

"It fits- I heard she _buys_ her friends," Kenny said, grinning.

"Yeah, of course she does," added Wendy, "since she's completely a fake. _Plastic_."

They all laughed at the puns.

"Oh, you guys are terrific," Bebe said, jokingly whacking Wendy's ripped sleeve.

"Absolutely," replied Wendy and Kenny.

"Now we should all sit down," suggested Wendy. "Class is going to begin soon, and we want school to zoom by so we can have some real Halloween fun!"

* * *

"Trick-or-treat!"

The group had split into duos: Stan and Wendy, Kenny and Cartman, and Kyle and Bebe.

"Oh!" laughed the elderly woman in a simple witch costume. "What a lovely couple." She placed a handful of candy in their bags.

"Thanks!" Stan and Wendy walked away.

"How many more minutes till our party?" Stan asked Wendy.

"Forty." Wendy smiled. "Besides, I think these people are tired of kids parading in scary costumes outside their houses for two hours since eight o' clock."

Stan smiled back. "I second that."

They sat on the sidewalk, watching monsters, ghouls, and ketchup bottles alike walking past them.

"People will simply be aghast at our awesome party," Wendy said excitedly.

"They won't be able to handle it," boasted Stan.

"Yeah," Wendy agreed, standing up and brushing herself off, "C'mon. We've got to get our food."

With some helping hands, Stan and Wendy were able to move all the food from Stan's house to the big gym.

The gym was dark, with the only lights emitting from the stage. The fog machine was spraying fog all over the place. Rectangular tables lined a wall, and that was where the food was placed.

Through the darkness, Wendy's fingers found Stan's cheek. Stan placed his own hand on top of Wendy's and held it there.

"Hey, lovebirds," said a voice, "It's pretty damn dark in here."

"It's Halloween, numbnuts," replied Stan, Wendy's hand still pressed to his cheek, "That's pretty much the point. Besides, you can see from the light from the stage, _Craig_."

"Damn you," Craig said. Retreating footsteps indicated that he was walking away.

"Fine," yelled Stan, dropping his hand from Wendy's. Hers returned to her side. "Turn on the lights. _For now_."

Instantly the lights turned on, and lights from the stage were turned off.

"We did an awesome job getting this place ready," encouragingly said Wendy, stepping away from a crawling zombie, "Uh, the zombie's still on."

"Sorry!" Clyde exclaimed, running into view and scooping up the figure.

"Hey, Clyde," Stan said, grinning, "Best sense of...zombie-picking?"

"And vampire, retard." Clyde bared his teeth, showing off a set of fangs.

"Oh, got to go," Wendy suddenly said, walking over to Millie, who was dressed up as a gothic school girl.

Millie's long black skirt practically flowed. She also sported a sleeveless white button-up top with a pointed collar and a short black tie with a cross on it. Side by side with Wendy and her long undead queen costume, they looked like they were gracefully gliding outside.

"That Wendy's really something," Clyde commented.

Stan smiled. "Well, dude, that's _my_ something."

"You got it, man," Clyde said, thumping him on the back.

"Who's your date, dude?" Stan asked.

"Millie," Clyde said, "Did you see the shoes? She got them from me a long time ago when we dated."

"You dated?"

Clyde flushed. "One week."

"Oh, the list thing."

"Yeah." Clyde turned around and hurriedly walked away to place his zombie in another area of the gym.

"Hey!" Wendy said, holding a medium-sized box, "Murder of crows are here."

Stan stared at her.

"Herd of cows, swarm of bees, murder of crows?" said Wendy, placing the box in front of Stan.

"Oh," Stan said, stepping back, "They're not-?"

"Real?" finished Wendy. "Nah. Course not."

"Phew. Okay."

Wendy opened the box and took out several creepy-looking crows. "Help me set these on tables." She walked over to the tables of food. Each table had a dark purple tablecloth on it. She placed a crow next to the big bowl of punch, which had gummy worms on the bottom. Perfect for rotting teeth. Stan followed with his own armful of fake crows.

"Great!" Wendy said as everyone finished placing final touches around the large gym. "Turn off the lights, Clyde. Craig, turn on the stage lights!"

They followed the commands, and everything was dark, but the white lights from the stage.

"Kids should be coming in soon, maybe a few minutes! The only chaperon here will be Mr. Garrison! Remember him?" loudly yelled Wendy to make sure everyone heard.

"Oh, yeah!" Millie said.

"Garrison-san," Stan said, grinning at the reminiscence.

"For God's sake, we're not in Japan!" said the familiar, accented voice.

"Mr. Garrison!" happily exclaimed the crew of children as the man in the green jacket emerged through the entrance.

"Good evening, non-scary children," greeted Mr. Garrison. He leaned against a wall impatiently. "Where's everyone?"

"It hasn't started yet," Craig answered.

"Oh." Mr. Garrison nodded. "So how's middle school?"

"Terrific." "Awesome!" "Decent." "Great!" "Cool."

"Okay," Mr. Garrison said, "Look who came with me!" He brought his arm out from behind his side.

"Mr. Hat!" they all yelled.

"Jesus, you're still all the retarded hyper little bastards I knew when you were in my class," commented their old teacher. Five faces grinned at him in reply. He rolled his eyes.

"Okay, Millie," said Wendy, "Go to the entrance and make sure everyone who tries to enter has a ticket, or sell them tickets. Clyde, make sure all of our spooky effects are constantly working or in place. Make sure no one, accidentally or purposely, tries to turn on the lights. Craig, in charge of the games. Stan and I will make sure everyone's entertained." She and Stan climbed on the stage, and were handed microphones from Clyde.

"Your spooky voice ready?" Wendy asked.

Stan nodded. "You?"

"Of course," Wendy responded in a wobbly, creepy voice.

"Great," said Stan in a scratchy, dark voice.

There was a sound like thunder.

"Great effect, Clyde!" exclaimed Stan.

"Thanks!" was the reply from backstage.

"They're coming in," Craig said, coming in from the entrance hallway.

Little by little, children came into the gym. Lights, red and black and white, blinked on and off at different times rapidly. The first group of kids screamed.

Teenagers then came in, in large groups. Stan noticed one jump and shriek when one crawling corpse stumbled across her ankle.

"Welcome to our Halloween party," Stan said in his scary voice. A few more children screamed.

"We have bands soon to play for you," Wendy said. Stan shuddered at her voice, then grinned.

"For now, enjoy witch nails and blood with worms over at the Crows' Table over there," Stan said, gesturing towards the tables in purple.

"There are games near the opposite wall," said Wendy, "Craig's in charge of that area; don't take it personally if he flips you off- he does it all the time."

"Also, don't bob for apples if someone you know is going to kill you," advised Stan, in his normal voice so people would take him seriously, "It's pretty dark and people can try to drown you."

"No, really. Be careful," Wendy said, also in her normal voice.

"Okay," said Stan, returning to his spooky voice, "Have fun and make sure not to trip on the dead."

The thunder sounded, and the white lights blinked vigorously.

A few more screams, plus an "Oh my God!" and even an "Oh, shit!"

"We," said Wendy, returning to her wobbly voice, "hope you brought a date." Mutters of reply. "Because we're crowning one lucky couple queen and king!"

"Ew!" was the response of most of the males in the room.

"They'll be rewarded with our hard-earned candy," Wendy explained.

"Yeah!" was the _new _reply from all of the males in the room.

Stan and Wendy walked backstage. They both rubbed their throats.

"God, talking like that hurt," complained Stan.

"Good job, you guys!" Immediately Craig, Millie, and Clyde surrounded them, handing them bottles of water and snatching their microphones.

"Thanks," Stan said, smiling. "Listen, Wends and I are going to take a walk; can you guys keep this place going while we're gone?"

"You got it, boss," Clyde said, smiling back and nodding.

"Are you kidding me? We've been waiting for you bastards to go away so we can take charge! Leave!" Craig said rudely.

Stan chuckled, taking Wendy's hand and sticking his tongue out at Craig. "Excuse you, you middle-finger-loving dickwad." They exited the large gym using the conveniently located back exit, which was also backstage.

Behind the gym were some leafless trees, and a bench, which was being used as a rest for Bebe and Kyle, to Wendy and Stan's surprise.

"What are you guys doing here?" Wendy said.

"We didn't like it in there," replied Kyle, shrugging.

"Picky bastard," said Stan, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"It was packed, man!" Bebe protested.

"And that would be an insult to the hosts, why?" asked Wendy.

"It-"

"Rhetorical question," interrupted Wendy.

"Bu-"

"Stan is your best friend, Kyle, and Bebe, I'm yours. Now if you want to remain that way, which means our friends and _alive_, get your butts back to the gym." Wendy's voice indicated ripped lungs and burnt bones if her orders were not obeyed.

"No," said Bebe, defiantly standing up in front of the still-sitting Kyle like a shield. She was used to Wendy's death threats.

"_NOW_," Wendy yelled. That single word shredded the shield into puny pieces.

"Yes, ma'am," Bebe squeaked, grabbing Kyle by the hand and quickly running inside. Vaguely heard by Wendy and Stan was a band shrieking a song that indicated that the lead singer was fluent in gibberish.

Wendy huffed, placing her hands on her hips. "Defiant little girl."

"She's older than you by a mo-"

"Shut up," Wendy ordered, "I never indicated anything about age."

Stan opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. She had a point.

"So why are we out here?" Wendy asked, looking at her boyfriend.

Stan smiled reluctantly. "I just thought we needed some alone time, you know? The past weeks people have been practically stalking us, bugging us about this stupid Halloween party. And then we had our friends, and school; we couldn't get even thirty seconds alone! And...and I sort of missed that time." Stan blushed a brilliant red.

Wendy couldn't help but blush herself at his words. "Stan," she gasped, speechless.

"I know, I know, I'm a wuss," Stan said, "But it's really how I feel, and I really can't help it."

"Aw, Stan!" gushed Wendy, throwing her arms around Stan's neck and hugging him.

Stan blushed a deeper red. "Uh, uh...," he muttered.

But Wendy interrupted him with a kiss.

"Hello? Lovesick retards?" Cartman and Kenny then emerged from the back exit. Stan impatiently waved his hand, signaling for them to go away.

"Oh! Whoops, sorry, guys," Kenny apologized, "Didn't mean to interrupt your kiss."

"Yeah, we did!" Cartman protested. Kenny elbowed him in the side.

"Shut up, you tub of fat!"

Wendy and Stan broke away with an aggravated sigh.

"Oh, s'it over already?" Kenny said, "Go ahead, keep going, pretend we're not here."

They glared at him with piercing eyes.

"Okay, okay, geez," Kenny said, backing away.

"Is everyone trying to ruin our alone time?" Stan said sharply.

"Yes," automatically replied Cartman and Kenny as if it was programmed in their brain as a response.

Wendy looked stubborn. She bit her lip and, silent, grabbed Stan by the hand and dragged him inside and onto the stage. Then she kissed him passionately.

People noticed; they stared curiously. Two girls in the front stared with anger shining in their eyes instead of curiosity.

Once Stan and Wendy broke away, they turned to Heidi and Red, who continued staring. The rumor Cartman heard was correct. Heidi was wearing a very short dress with sandals, and not much of anything else. Red was just wearing a green dress, which made Wendy cringe at the sickly shade of green.

"That's right," Stan said, grinning, "Be jealous of her."

"Very," Wendy added, grinning an identical grin, "Nice slut costumes." Stan wrapped his arm around her waist and led her off the bright stage.

They were immediately bombarded with compliments. "Great party," said Kelly, dressed as a butterfly.

"Like the crawling things!" exclaimed Token, sipping a cup of punch. He was a decomposing surgeon.

"Oh-oh, boy," stuttered Butters in a squirrel costume, "This is one spooky party." And even though Butters was genuinely scared and didn't mean his comment as a compliment, Wendy and Stan still accepted it as one. But Wendy gave him a reassuring hug before they walked away.

In the middle of the gym were dancing people. And smack-dab in the center of the wiggling children was none other than Mr. Garrison, flailing his arms crazily and reviving ancient dance moves.

"Oh, God," said Stan, his eyes squeezing shut in embarrassment. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Don't worry," Wendy said, placing a hand on Stan's shoulder. "Everyone knows Mr. Garrison."

Stan opened one eye, then sighed. "Why _our_ party?" he groaned, squeezing his eye shut again. "It's blinding me!"

Wendy glanced at Mr. Garrison and made a face. "C'mon, it's not that bad."

Stan grabbed her head, turning it towards the direction of the teacher.

"Ew, ew, ew!"

Stan let go. "See what I mean?"

Wendy twitched. "Maybe," she admitted sheepishly.

The song changed abruptly, and no longer was a live band playing- instead, it was the familiar, very popular song, "Thriller! Thriller night..."

More people gathered to the middle of gym now, in neat rows, dancing in-tune to the song. Among them was Kenny, Kelly, Bebe, Kyle, Cartman, Token, and even the shy Butters.

Stan grinned at Wendy. "C'mon, let's dance!" He grabbed her hand and ran over to a row.

"Ah! Stan, I don't dance!" exclaimed Wendy.

"That's about to change," said the grinning Stan, and he began to dance.

Soon, Wendy got into the beat and started to dance.

* * *

In the corner of the gym, something stirred.

Kyle clumsily raised himself by his elbows, confused. _Okay, where the hell am I?_

He rubbed his head, puzzled, and yawned, causing his hood to fall onto his shoulders. His eyes widened as he realized he was in the gym, still.

He raised himself up more, realizing he wasn't alone. Using the light emitting from the windows (and somewhat from the unnecessary stage lights), he could point out a few faces. Kenny, Craig, Clyde, Mr. Garrison, Wendy, and Stan.

He felt something sticking to his face. He made a confused face, then pulled off a white t-shirt. _...What the HELL happened last night?!_

"Morning, sleepyhead." Wendy smiled at him, her voice indicating she just woke up. She and Stan were leaning against the wall near the stage. Stan's head rest on her shoulder, and he was snoring slightly.

"Dude, what the hell happened last night?" he asked her, his voice like Wendy's.

"Halloween is one crazy-ass night." She smiled halfheartedly, though her eyes were still not even fully open. "We must've all gotten drunk...Hey, there's a lip gloss stain on your left cheek...Someone kissed you."

Kyle blushed. "Uh...," he began.

"Say no more," said Wendy, giggling slightly.

On the opposite side of the gym, a blonde-haired boy with a cowboy hat awoke, his head half-dipped in a bowl full of water and apples.

"Where the hell did my shirt go?"


End file.
